Today’s post is brought to you by the letter E.
E, as in Elephant.
E, as in Effervescent.
E, as in Evaporation.
Actually, this has nothing to do with elephants nor effervescence (as satisfying a word as that is both to say and see), and everything to do with evaporation.
Actually-actually, it has very little to do with evaporation and much to do with life, but as with much of my writing we’re going to consider something specific and arcane to which you probably give nearly zero thought, in order to reveal the most fundamental and scientifically significant facts about the universe.
Or something like that.
Let’s suppose you’ve been for a swim, and were wearing swim garments – a “bathing suit”, in the parlance of our times. This swim wasn’t in your backyard. No, this was an away-game. You became wet by someone else’s water, and you need to throw your swim garment into a backpack for the rest of your Ferris-Bueller-Day-Off, unless you want to wear wet shorts or a bikini and ruin the rest of it.
But you’re smarter than that.
So you’re faced with a few options. By the muscles of your hands and might of your spirit, you can twist them and scrunch them and whip them around like Napoleon Dynamite brandishing nunchucks, wringing all the possible water out of them before throwing them into your bag. Not a bad move, though of course it takes a little bit of effort on your part.
You could also do nothing at all, and immediately after removing them from your person, toss the garment into your bag, saturated with water as they are. If you don’t care about anything, that doesn’t seem like a bad option. But if you don’t care about anything, nothing is a bad option.
Most likely, you’ll give ‘em a little squeeze, get some water out, toss ‘em in your bag and carry on with your life, with far less consideration of the matter than this post takes you to read. Some kind of middle path. The buddha would like you, but not me.
What was that shit about E’s and evaporation up at the top? Ah yes…
Evaporation is the very slow process of water being pulled into the air, and is influenced by a variety of factors like air flow, humidity, surface area, and temperature. To be fair, in our swim garment example there isn’t going to be any evaporation because your swim garment is in a dark bag where no air is flowing. Let’s suppose you’re a little more clever and have tied your sultry bikini to the outside of your backpack so it’s still exposed to the air.
Water will evaporate from your swim garment at a rate of something like 300 mL per day. On the time scale of a pebble, this is lightning-quick, but by human calculations this is lightning-slow. With a vigorous squeeze, wring, and flipping your leopard-skin leotard around like nunchucks, you can turn your saturated fabric into a mildly damp cloth. With about 7 seconds of extra effort, you can instantly leap forward by what 7 hours of evaporation would achieve.
So what are you telling me, Jordan? That I should give myself carpal tunnel syndrome just so my swim garments are always dry before I put them in my bag?
No. What I’m telling you is that there are certain things in life that take a little bit of extra work in the moment and have a disproportionately huge impact on what would happen if they were left to their own devices. Like having a quick conversation with that usually well-humoured teammate who’s been awfully withdrawn in meetings for the last two weeks, to ask if everything is alright and show them you care. Or like building a simple system for your kids to rotate through chores so they don’t beat each other up over who has to clean the piranha aquarium. Or like onboarding your new hire so they not only understand why your business exists but really give a shit about what it’s trying to achieve. Or like a gazillion other things.
In wider life, like in the evaporation example, context is key. If you’re swimming in your bathtub at home and can toss your wet speedo in the dryer or hang it in the sun for all the neighbours to see, you don't need to spend an ounce of energy wringing or nunchukking them. There, the leverage you gain means nothing.
But when you’re in those moments that need it, your little bit of effort right now can go a longer way than the hurried-you would care to admit.
Choose your battles, and… if you liked it then you should have put a wring on it.
Brilliant, humorous and your analogies get me every time. They are so applicable and understandable. Thanks for this.